As I have thought about my kids and mothers the last couple of weeks, I have been thinking how I want to write down my feelings that make sense and help me to calm my nerves and emotions.
About three weeks ago I came across a couple of blogs that linked you to other blogs about their families journey of heart ache and faith. So as a started reading these two sites (http://www.charliecooperjackjack.blogspot.com/ and http://www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com/) my heart ached so badly for what these families were going through and I actually think for a second it ached because they had so much faith and strength to be going through what they were going through and here I am having a pity party on my own trials which do not even compare to what they are going through. For those of you that have been blogging for awhile or maybe just started know how easily you can click on one persons blog and then click and click and click (you got my point) to where you are reading all of these peoples stories and before you know it you are crawling in bed at 2 am with big puffy eyes! So after doing this for about a week I felt like I had so many people who truly taught me about faith and the way to enjoy your life being grateful for all of your blessing because in a second your life could change. In the Audrey Caroline story the mom, Angie has such a way to express her feelings like you are reading a book and you can feel what the character is feeling, but her strength is amazing, something that I will never forget. Now let me tell you these are stories that if you have not read, do, but don't until you have awhile because you can't stop reading until it is done! With all of these stories you can't help, but hold all of your children so tight, in hopes that you don't ever have to let go. Hoping every second that they will know how loved they are and how special they are to Carson and I.
One night as I was clicking and clicking away I came across this girls blog who had the cutest little boy and one of her posts said that she got to go to Utah for Conference so it showed a picture of her and her husband and this couple. As I looked at the couple I realized it was Carson's Mission President and his wife. So I thought this boy must have gone on a mission with Carson, but as I read I realized these were this girls parents. She was in Brazil when Carson was on her mission. So of course as soon as Carson woke up I asked him if he knew Avery Woffinden and he said yes and I began telling him what is going on in her life right now. As I told Carson about it how strong this couple was how they have a little boy and then they have a baby with heart defects and other problems I realized a lot of Carson's strength and faith was taught by the same wonderful man President Woffinden, so Carson knew how strong this girl could be. But you just want to go hold these babies and help give the parents a brake! Something that is so unimaginable to me to have to go through, you don't know these families for anything, but you feel like you would love to give your extra time to helping them.
During the week of reading all of these my family was going through a little stomach bug, which after Alec still was in so much stomach pain after four days I realized we needed to get him checked out. Once we got to the Dr. it took two minutes of pushing on his stomach to be able to tell he was very backed up and needed to be put on lots of fiber with not eating to much sugar. About two weeks later (which was last week) Carson and I was watching Olivia walk around after getting out of the tub and realized her stomach looked like it was poking out extra far. So after showing my parents and watching a couple of more days I thought she probably has the same thing as Alec so we need to get her looked at to see what we give her. Once I got to the Doctor he told me he wanted to do x-ray first to see if she was constipated, blood work to see if she had food allergies, and ultra sound to see what was going on. I told him that we would wait on the blood work because I didn't want to scare her too bad, so first thing was the x-ray. Once the x-ray was pulled up the Dr. came and looked at it and told me her liver looked enlarged. As any parent your heart drops, but you don't understand what that means. So the first thing to do was get an ultra sound the next day to look more in depth at the liver and her other organs. After going home me, Carson, and my parents were talking about it and realized we can't jump to the worst conclusion and that they needed to keep me off of google! The hardest part was Olivia had to fast starting at 12 midnight until 11 am the next morning when we got her in for the ultrasound. Luckily for us everything looked good when we got the results back from the Doctor, so now we will go down the route of food allergies. What a scary couple of days. At one point I was thinking did all of these blogs come into my life to give me the faith to go through something with my own daughter, but I realized I have read them to just have more faith period!
As my life seems crazy and my patience seems sparse I realize how thankful I am to be a mom to my three beautiful healthy children. How grateful I am that I am able to stay home, but how I take advantage of those blessings at the same time. I need to dig deeper for more time and most importantly more patience because my children are loved and I would want nothing different in my life, so I need to show it more! As the princess and I woke up yesterday to my three boys making us breakfast on Mother's day and everyone being so loving and giving (Carson did a great job on the gifts) I realize Motherhood is my biggest job and the most rewarding (next to being a wife!)! Yesterday was such a wonderful day, our church is at 1:10 and for many of you know the Jazz game was at 1:30, so we were at church enjoying the talks and such, but looking forward to watching the end of the game and lucky for us it went into over time! We had dinner with my whole family and my grandma Carlson. I honestly couldn't have asked for a more relaxing day!! My little family is enjoying way to much being home bodies and for the most part spending holidays at home!! I am so thankful for Carson for making my Mother's Day fabulous!! Even when I am so crazy. I have to tell you my new fear is my kids getting hit by a car backing up (that fear came after a new report saying every six days a kid in Utah gets hit by a car backing up), just a car not paying attention to a neighborhood full of kids driving way to fast, or the kids falling out of the bike trailer. So I know that I have driven Carson crazy with all of my crazy fears and routine rules, but I am grateful underneath all of the headaches I give him that he agrees and realizes it is best for the kids!! I am also grateful that Carson was able get the kids excited with doing things for me on Mother's Day. Two years ago on Mother's Day was when we told the boys we were having a baby and announced to all of our families that we were pregnant with Olivia. Carson and I didn't think we could have a better Mother's Day, but we figured out that was wrong, this year was great! Honestly every year your kids get bigger (probably until they are tweens) these types of days only get better! How grateful I am for my kids for the individual personalities that makes them so special! And for all of the mothers/grandmothers that our in our lives!
So to end my novel I have to say that I have realized how to have true faith and for me I have to work at it daily, but it truly makes you feel more peaceful! So thank you to all of those moms out there that with their strength, faith, and love you have taught me to be a better person and the things that should be more important in our lives. I think that is one thing about growing older is you learn how much you can live with out and what is most important in life! Have a great day!!
About three weeks ago I came across a couple of blogs that linked you to other blogs about their families journey of heart ache and faith. So as a started reading these two sites (http://www.charliecooperjackjack.blogspot.com/ and http://www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com/) my heart ached so badly for what these families were going through and I actually think for a second it ached because they had so much faith and strength to be going through what they were going through and here I am having a pity party on my own trials which do not even compare to what they are going through. For those of you that have been blogging for awhile or maybe just started know how easily you can click on one persons blog and then click and click and click (you got my point) to where you are reading all of these peoples stories and before you know it you are crawling in bed at 2 am with big puffy eyes! So after doing this for about a week I felt like I had so many people who truly taught me about faith and the way to enjoy your life being grateful for all of your blessing because in a second your life could change. In the Audrey Caroline story the mom, Angie has such a way to express her feelings like you are reading a book and you can feel what the character is feeling, but her strength is amazing, something that I will never forget. Now let me tell you these are stories that if you have not read, do, but don't until you have awhile because you can't stop reading until it is done! With all of these stories you can't help, but hold all of your children so tight, in hopes that you don't ever have to let go. Hoping every second that they will know how loved they are and how special they are to Carson and I.
One night as I was clicking and clicking away I came across this girls blog who had the cutest little boy and one of her posts said that she got to go to Utah for Conference so it showed a picture of her and her husband and this couple. As I looked at the couple I realized it was Carson's Mission President and his wife. So I thought this boy must have gone on a mission with Carson, but as I read I realized these were this girls parents. She was in Brazil when Carson was on her mission. So of course as soon as Carson woke up I asked him if he knew Avery Woffinden and he said yes and I began telling him what is going on in her life right now. As I told Carson about it how strong this couple was how they have a little boy and then they have a baby with heart defects and other problems I realized a lot of Carson's strength and faith was taught by the same wonderful man President Woffinden, so Carson knew how strong this girl could be. But you just want to go hold these babies and help give the parents a brake! Something that is so unimaginable to me to have to go through, you don't know these families for anything, but you feel like you would love to give your extra time to helping them.
During the week of reading all of these my family was going through a little stomach bug, which after Alec still was in so much stomach pain after four days I realized we needed to get him checked out. Once we got to the Dr. it took two minutes of pushing on his stomach to be able to tell he was very backed up and needed to be put on lots of fiber with not eating to much sugar. About two weeks later (which was last week) Carson and I was watching Olivia walk around after getting out of the tub and realized her stomach looked like it was poking out extra far. So after showing my parents and watching a couple of more days I thought she probably has the same thing as Alec so we need to get her looked at to see what we give her. Once I got to the Doctor he told me he wanted to do x-ray first to see if she was constipated, blood work to see if she had food allergies, and ultra sound to see what was going on. I told him that we would wait on the blood work because I didn't want to scare her too bad, so first thing was the x-ray. Once the x-ray was pulled up the Dr. came and looked at it and told me her liver looked enlarged. As any parent your heart drops, but you don't understand what that means. So the first thing to do was get an ultra sound the next day to look more in depth at the liver and her other organs. After going home me, Carson, and my parents were talking about it and realized we can't jump to the worst conclusion and that they needed to keep me off of google! The hardest part was Olivia had to fast starting at 12 midnight until 11 am the next morning when we got her in for the ultrasound. Luckily for us everything looked good when we got the results back from the Doctor, so now we will go down the route of food allergies. What a scary couple of days. At one point I was thinking did all of these blogs come into my life to give me the faith to go through something with my own daughter, but I realized I have read them to just have more faith period!
As my life seems crazy and my patience seems sparse I realize how thankful I am to be a mom to my three beautiful healthy children. How grateful I am that I am able to stay home, but how I take advantage of those blessings at the same time. I need to dig deeper for more time and most importantly more patience because my children are loved and I would want nothing different in my life, so I need to show it more! As the princess and I woke up yesterday to my three boys making us breakfast on Mother's day and everyone being so loving and giving (Carson did a great job on the gifts) I realize Motherhood is my biggest job and the most rewarding (next to being a wife!)! Yesterday was such a wonderful day, our church is at 1:10 and for many of you know the Jazz game was at 1:30, so we were at church enjoying the talks and such, but looking forward to watching the end of the game and lucky for us it went into over time! We had dinner with my whole family and my grandma Carlson. I honestly couldn't have asked for a more relaxing day!! My little family is enjoying way to much being home bodies and for the most part spending holidays at home!! I am so thankful for Carson for making my Mother's Day fabulous!! Even when I am so crazy. I have to tell you my new fear is my kids getting hit by a car backing up (that fear came after a new report saying every six days a kid in Utah gets hit by a car backing up), just a car not paying attention to a neighborhood full of kids driving way to fast, or the kids falling out of the bike trailer. So I know that I have driven Carson crazy with all of my crazy fears and routine rules, but I am grateful underneath all of the headaches I give him that he agrees and realizes it is best for the kids!! I am also grateful that Carson was able get the kids excited with doing things for me on Mother's Day. Two years ago on Mother's Day was when we told the boys we were having a baby and announced to all of our families that we were pregnant with Olivia. Carson and I didn't think we could have a better Mother's Day, but we figured out that was wrong, this year was great! Honestly every year your kids get bigger (probably until they are tweens) these types of days only get better! How grateful I am for my kids for the individual personalities that makes them so special! And for all of the mothers/grandmothers that our in our lives!
So to end my novel I have to say that I have realized how to have true faith and for me I have to work at it daily, but it truly makes you feel more peaceful! So thank you to all of those moms out there that with their strength, faith, and love you have taught me to be a better person and the things that should be more important in our lives. I think that is one thing about growing older is you learn how much you can live with out and what is most important in life! Have a great day!!
3 comments:
I agree with you I have read the Audrey blog. I actually started one afternoon a couple weeks ago and I couldnt stop, I check in on it regularly. I have a new way of looking at life, and I agree it is one blog everyone should read! I never hugged my kids so hard. I think its easy to take for granted all of the "little" things. We are all so blessed in many different ways!
Thanks for that post. We do need to step back and spend more time with our precious little ones. Sorry about Olivia. Let me know if there is anything we can do to help.
Thanks for that post! Thanks for being such an awesome friend and example! I love you to death!!!
Post a Comment